I DID IT! Oh my god I actually did it.

42.195 kilometers. 26.2 miles. On foot. Without a car. Or an ambulance. I crossed the line with a time of 5 hours, 40 minutes and change. I was just barely squeezed out of first place by a Kenyan runner in a photo finish that I plan to contest to the world governing body of marathons. His official time was 2 hours 8 minutes.

Actually, I finished something like 11,569th out of 15,187 entries. But still, not bad for a fat old guy. The key word in all this is FINISH. I ran a marathon! I ran a marathon. Now, when I say "I feel like I just ran a marathon", I can follow it up by saying "And believe me, I know what I'm talking about." That's gonna be so sweet. I can't wait to use it. lots.

So I'm back to work today, and I'm so jetlagged I can hardly see straight. 25 hours of travel each way has left me feeling like I just ran a marathon. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(wait for it) . . . . . . .


And believe me, I know what I'm talking about!

Bada Bing!

I have lots of great pictures of the trip - I'll post a few tonight.

AND - I've made the draw for the big prize! As you may recall, I was going to buy something uniquely Italian and give it as a prize to one lucky person who pledged my campaign. I purchased a beautiful piece of original glass artwork from Murano, along with a nice bottle of Grappa, an Italian spirit. (Pictures of both forthcoming)

And the winner is -

Kathy McKale of Cold Lake! Thanks for the support Kathy, I'll deliver your gift soon.

All for now.

Gotta sit down and have a long nap. Already planning the next marathon.

The Fat Guy

9 days to departure. Holy CRAP.

I'm excited, freaked out, paranoid and nervous. I think I can do this, but . . .

Last Sunday I almost killed myself doing 32 km up and down hills. Didn't eat enough beforehand, didn't replenish enough during the run and almost passed out when I was done. Didn't even have enough energy to CHEW. Seriously. It took me 30 minutes to gum my way through half a sandwich. And my blood sugar absolutely skyrocketed, telling me that I bottomed-out somewhere along the way. Not good for a diabetic who knows better. Gotta do a better job next Sunday. Next Sunday. Next . . . Sunday . . . is the race. I still can't believe it came up on me this fast. Other than last Sunday, training has gone well. 23 km this past Saturday, no problems. Fastest 10km ever last Thursday. Friday - 6km up and down hills, felt strong. So, I start "tapering" this week. Shorter runs to keep fitness but build energy and avoid injury. I'm not even playing my weekly hockey game tonight or next Tuesday just in case. I'm absolutely paranoid about getting some stupid injury just before we go.

Last night I got an E-mail from Team Diabetes about the medical waiver from my doctor that the race officials MUST have to allow me into the race. Can you believe that it costs $100 to get my doctor to fill out a one-page questionnaire? He didn't charge me, though. Nice guy. Thanks Dr. Omand. Naturally, I faxed the form the same day straight to Rome. And of course the team had no record of it. Poof - gone. So they asked me to send a copy to them, and I (of course) couldn't FIND IT! No waiver - no race. 10 months of training and work down the drain . . . somebody STOLE IT! WHAT THE #$!!&***$%##!!!!!! SOMEBODY'S GONNA PAY FOR THIS! I'M GONNA BREAK - What? It's in my car? Oh. Sorry. Uh, I'll fax it right away.

That was last night - hopefully my last freak-out session before we leave. Departure time is 8AM from Edmonton, arrival time in Rome is 12:25 PM the next day. On the way we stop in Minneapolis and Amsterdam. I'm tired just thinking about it. Then, 45 hours later, I race.

I'll continue this story later. Gotta go.

What a screwy weekend.

Didn't do my long run as I'd hoped. It was the "boy's weekend" - me and my buddies take the Family Day long weekend and go ice fishing. We rarely ever catch anything but a wicked hangover, horrible gas and unbelievable indigestion. As fishermen, we're great hockey players. This year we went the extra mile and DIDN'T EVEN FISH! We spent hours digging the trucks out of the snow along the horse path that serves as an access road to thecabin we rented (no wonder rent was FREE) and spent even MORE time slogging through three feet of snow hauling our supplies in and out. We could only get the trucks to within about 500 metres of the cabin, which had no electricity or heat. We lit the fire, and five hours later we were mostly thawed and fully inebriated. By the time we were ready to go the next morning, nobody had the energy or the inclination to fish. Hence, no running either. I did get plenty of exercise though, so all was not lost. So I have to find a few hours this week to get through a 29km run. Might have to do it in the dark. Tell anyone you meet that if they see a round, jiggly reflective thing coming at them down a side road that it's not an alien - it's your truly. Hitting Edmonton again this weekend to celebrate Leah's birthday - including the Colin James concert. Sunday morning I'll likely be at the St. Albert Running Room for a group run of some kind. Last time was really fun, and it looks like the weather should be okay too. The long runs are so much easier outside. We'll be in the fifth row at the concert - my wife singing at the top of her lungs to every song, and me grimacing with pain to the beat.

Less than four weeks to Rome.

Ciao.

PS: Topped the $10,500 mark this week in funraising. Thanks again to everyone who gave.

32 freakin' kilometres!

That's how far I ran on Sunday. Four hours and sixteen minutes of run, walk, run, walk. Best part? No dogs. Worst part? Keeping track of the 140 laps I had to run. Minus 25 degrees doesn't agree with my lungs, so I drove to Spruce Grove and ran the track at the Tri-Leisure Centre. Now that I've completed 3/4 the distance of a full marathon, I think I can, I think I can.

Second best part of the run? The Banana's-a-Whey smoothie from Booster Juice after I finished. Nectar of the gods. Better than sex. Especially since sex after that run would have been physically impossible for me anyway.

Ordered my race singlet (I think it's the shirt I'll be wearing) today - and I have no idea what size. I told them to make it loose-fitting. Still a lot of jiggling when I should be jogging.

All for now - Leah made lasagna, and I need energy for hockey tonight.

I'm back - finally. Sorry it took so long, but I've been REAL busy. Work, family, training - everything just walked up and bit me on the a$$. Which brings me to my last long run - 21kms! That's right campers, I ran a half marathon on Sunday and I didn't have a coronary! What does this have to do with my a$$? During the run, my precious derriere was chomped by a dog! If it hadn't happened to me, it would be funny. Yes, I know YOU find it funny but the teeth marks on my butt prevent me from chuckling very much. Regardless, I completed the distance anyway, and I have a great story to tell. In case you're wondering (or even if you aren't) I don't blame the dog. He was just doing what dogs do. I would, however, like to euthanize the owner.

Let's catch up on what has happened to the Fat Guy since October 2006.

Fundraising - I am officially at $9200 or so, on my way to $10,000. Job well done. Thanks to all my pledglings, and I look forward to making the draw to see who wins the gift I bring back from Italy.

Training - Fell off the wagon a time or two, but found new motivation on a beach in Mexico over the Christmas holiday. Being able to don a pair a shorts and a t-shirt and run along the ocean in December is something this northern Alberta boy could get used to. I ran more than 30km during the week I was there, and worked out just about every day too. However, too many cerveza and tequila cocktails likely didn't help the ol body. Great for the psyche though. Met some great folks from California at the hotel, and found out they have come to the same place for the past 27 years. They know the owners, and all the staf by name. Did you know they make between 4 and 8 dollars a DAY?! And they work very hard. Once I knew that I tipped extra, and they were extremely grateful. Kinda puts things into perspective.
Training has gone well since I set up the home gym, and outfitted myself for outdoor running in the dead of winter. I weight train daily now, and my weekly distance has increased to over 50km. Every 10k training run gets easier. I also picked up some proper replenishing products for my longer runs - electrolyte replacements instead of just water, and "Carb Boom" gel that give a real energy jolt when you need it. Wow, does it ever work.

The Run - Just registered for the race and the travel arragements last night with Team Diabetes, and it's beginning to seem very real now. I have to begin thinking about what we want to do while we're in Italy, but mostly I have to plan the time between when I leave home for Edmonton. We only have about 48 hours between when we land in Rome and the race, so I have to figure out how to prepare - sleep, food, hydration, jetlag. I'm kinda freakin' out about it.

Health - I am so pissed off. My diet and training schedule have been PERFECT for the past several weeks. So, I trundled off to the dietician office on Monday to wow her with my incredible weight loss. After all, I just blew a wad of cash on new clothes - 38 waist! New shirts - Large! Not XXL, not even XL. In September I weighed in at 237lb. Two days ago - 240! Yes I know I have been building muscle, yes it does weight more than fat, and yes I know I look and feel much better - darn near (dare I say it?) skinny. But CRAP! Adding pounds just rubs me the wrong way. But I'll get over it. And I WON'T change my diet or training. So there.

Six weeks, 4 days to race day. Relax. Breathe.

Another 10k run today, and I can't wait. I must be crazy, but I enjoy it more and more. Next time I'll tell you about my iPod win and the bellaclava bandit.

Til then, gotta run!

The Fat Guy

To everyone who's been waiting for the next episode of "Fat Guy", sorry for the wait. It's been busy, and the Blogger site has had a few hiccups. The web guys must have had a few keggers to kick off the start of the new school year. As you can see above, the Marinara-Thon is done, and everyone who participated got a t-shirt with this funky logo on it. Thanks to Lars and his staff at Hamel's Catering for the great pasta lunch, which featured WHOLE WHEAT pasta as well as regular. I thought it was important to offer a diabetic friendly version of lunch, and whole grain digests slower so it makes it easier to control blood sugar. I highly recommend it - and your toilet will love you. Bring a magazine.

Thanks to t-shirt sponsors, Bill Parker at Sears Cold Lake, Don and the gang at Kia Cold Lake, Mike Guest at Mark's Work WearHouse in Cold Lake and Debbie at Lake City GM. And to Dave & Wendy Miller of Clearcut Construction for sponsoring the water.

October 1st was a great day for running, even though it was a little chilly in the shade. We had about 55 participants and raised $1700 that Terry Wilson and I will split evenly for our campaigns. By the time I sent everyone on their way, I only had time to run 3K, but it was fun high-fiving everyone doing the walk. As far as we know, there were no injuries and nobody got run over by a car, so I consider it a huge success.

Oh, by the way . . . .

I'VE REACHED MY FUNDRAISING GOAL!!!!!

A huge thanks to everyone who's given so far, and those who've taken part in the events. But the biggest thanks goes to Bob and Ron at Value Drug Mart in Cold Lake for putting me over the top with a 2000 dollar donation! That got me over the $6100 mark, and since then I have increased the total to $8500! My next milestone is $10,000, and by the time I'm ready to head to Rome I'd like to be at $12,000. While I'm in Italy, be sure to listen to 95.3 K-Rock, as I'll be calling in regular reports on behalf of Communications Cold Lake. Thanks to Sally for sponsoring those reports to the tune of $1000. Actually, I only asked for $500, but when I went to get the cheque she made it for $1000. Sweet.

A big thanks as well to Uta Squire. Uta Uta Uta Uta. Say it with me - utautautauta. It's just so fun to say. Anyhoo, Uta runs the House and Home Show in Cold Lake and she graciously offered to let me and Terry work the admission desk and receive ALL THE PROCEEDS! We each took home about $400! Thanks a bunch.

Training? Yes, lots. I've developed a bit of a knee problem lately, but it doesn't hurt too much and I can still run well on flat surfaces so I continue to "get jiggly wid it" to the tune of 7 to 10K every second day. Just in case, I went to
(PLACE OBVIOUS ADVERTISING PLUG HERE)
. . . Value Drug Mart and got a knee brace so I didn't make it worse. By the way Ron, the medium fits perfectly and your customer service was excellent. If I had to get any sort of prophylactic device from a retail store, it would definitely be Value Drug Mart in the Marina Mall or in the Tri-City Mall.

EDITORS NOTE: The dictionary definition of prophylactic is simply "a preventative device", so get your mind out of the gutter okay?

And today is one of those running kind of days. I look forward to "trotting off" some of the turkey I've consumed this weekend. Although fall, as a season, can blow leaves up it's own wazoo as far as I'm concerned, running is getting easier for two main reasons - I'm somewhat less ButterBall than I was a short while ago, and the cool weather keeps the sweat down to a half a bucket per kilometer. This blessed turn of events keep the dreaded nipple chafing down to a minimum. Girls and fellow man-boob owners will know exactly what I'm talking about. As for the knee pain, I think it's just the orange-on-a-toothpick physique I've been sporting for too long finally making my knees give in a bit. I suspect with even further weight loss it will go away. And I've started taking glucosamine, which some people swear helps their joints. I'm not generally a big fan of the whole voodoo mumbo-jumbo holistic medicine thing, but what the heck. As long as I don't start sprouting a tail, I'll keep taking it. We bought it at Costco the other day, and I almost bought another new product from the makers of Cold FX. It's called Memory FX. I kid you not. It's supposed to improve your memory. I think. Or was it . . . what was I saying? Well I didn't buy it because it was really expensive, and because I didn't want to hurt myself carrying out the smallest bottle Costco had - a 55 gallon drum. After all, I didn't have room in my trunk with the 100 litre bottle of Miracle Whip and the 800-pack of underwear.

We're heading back to Costco next week to buy the Nautilus Smith Machine - a home gym that is the best buy I've seen in a long time. Terry has one which I've been using, and it is awesome. It gives the feeling of free weights but the control, safety and space-saving qualities of an all-in-one machine. As soon as I finish my basement, I am gonna get SO BUFF! Then my chest will be above my belt line, and I won't have to tuck my stomach skin into my socks! YAY!

Well that's about it for now. Again, thanks for the help everyone. The next event will include "Mr. Sub Day" and "Panago Pizza Day" sometime in October/November.

Gotta run.

The Fat Guy.

PS: Thank to all my ATBIS associates for the kind words and encouragement last week.

Here it is, the next fundraising event! I encourage everyone to come out for a good sweat, a funky t-shirt (it's got the Italian Smiley Running Dude on it) and a tasty spaghetti lunch. All the events start at the north end of the Cold Lake Marina parking lot. The 10K run goes out to Horseshoe Bay Estates and back, the 3K walk goes to Kinosoo Beach and back, and my personal favorite event, the FAT GUY 500 is a 500 metre walk/stroll/meander/wheelchair ride out to the end of the breakwater, then back to the Marina building for lunch! Everyone - even those who haven't left the house all summer - can take part in this one.

We plan to have plenty of information available on diabetes, plus we'll be providing water at the turn for the 10 and 3 K participants. Half of the registration fee is tax deductible, and you can register at ATB Financial in Cold Lake or Bonnyville. Hope to see you all Sunday October 1st at 10AM!

As for the Fat Guy training schedule . . .

Ran a full 10K in Red Deer last weekend. The Collicut Centre is a nice facility, but their track is mainly for walking. When I was done, my hips ached like I'd been doing "The Twist" for 24 hours straight. I know, it's a mental image even I don't want in my head. Regardless, it was a good run, and I felt real accomplishment with another 10K in my bag.

Then I went out with the gang from work tonight. Good time. Bad for the diet. Things started great, with platters of fresh veggies and dip. Then came the steaming hot platters of cholesterol death. Wings, onion rings, chicken fingers, deep fried EVERYTHING! It was, in a word, orgasmic. A word not normally associated with food, but for us fat guys (we know who we are), a fitting description nonetheless. I felt so guilty about powering back all the nastiness that I simply HAD to top it off with a monster piece of cake. With extra frosting. (sigh)

Back to the grind tomorrow. The blood sugar buzz is starting to wear off. Talk again soon.

The guilty Fat Guy