Been there . . Done that . . . GOT THE T-SHIRT!
Phase 1 of my diabolical plan has been completed. I entered a race, paid my $30, got the t-shirt, donned an official racer's number and actually finished! My first official 10K time is just under 58 minutes, eclipsing my previous best time by more than 20 minutes. Rather impressive if you don't know the rest of the story. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, fine! I'll TELL you the rest of the story, a la Paul Harvey. If you don't know who that is, you're likely unfamiliar with LP's, 8 tracks, rotary phones and life without VCR's. You're too young to have me explain it - and I hate you. A little.

I only ran 10K once before, and it was on a really hot day and after working for more than 12 hours outside. And there were hills - lots and lots of hills. Hence - 80 minutes to finish. This particular race course was in the Edmonton river valley, virtually flat and the weather was a fat-guy-friendly 15 degrees celsius withy plenty of cloud cover.

Anyway, I was happy with the result - finishing in an upright position, ahead of a few elderly folks and a nice lady pushing a stroller. (not a joke) I now know for certain that I need never concern myself with the notoriety associated with WINNING such an event. I came to this stunning realization as I passed the 3Km mark at what I thought was a fairly torrid pace. Now this particular course brings the participants to the 5Km mark and then heads back along the same route to the finish line - so the hares at the front of the pack cross paths with the tortoises bringing up the rear. As I said, I was gazelle-like as I entered my fourth kilometre of the day, feeling pretty darn special. In the distance I saw what looked vaguely like a small sports car with a yellow top coming at me at an alarming speed. I wondered who the idiot was that decided to go for a drive in the middle of a serious athletic event. As it came closer, I was horrified to see that it was a SEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL reaching the 7Km mark, and SPRINTING past me - her long blonde (hare) waving at me as she went by. Then came the 50ish guy, then the next, and the next and, well, you get the idea.

Crap.

Oh well, at least I had my cool running shades and spanky new running hat on to hide both my shock and dismay(tears). Bad names came to mind as my competitive nature kicked in, but I quickly came back to reality and remembered why I was there. Suddenly, a Grinch-like heartswell came over me and I proudly applauded every single runner that ran past me. Sounds goofy, but I truly admired their abilities and wished I had enough air in my lungs to tell them so. Hopefully at least one of them hears of this wish and tells all the others. I assume they are part of some genetic engineering experiment designed to create ultra-fast runners who humble fat people at small fund-raising events. On Sundays. In Edmonton. They would all at least have each other's Email addresses, so I'm sure they'll get the message from their controller.

That's enough for now. Suffice to say that I am quite satisfied with the race and I plan to run as many as possible before Rome in March. The Edmonton Marathon 10K looks possible, and maybe the one in September in Spruce Grove. I'm even considering the half-marathon in December in LAS VEGAS! Part of the race is on the Las Vegas Strip! I know it's quite a sacrifice to go all that way just for a race, but it's one that I'm willing to make. Just the kind of dedicated guy I am.

Til next time, I'm all in.

The Fat Guy